“Never rub another man's rhubarb”

“Never rub another man's rhubarb” The Joker

What the heck is a rhubarb? In baseball, it’s a big bench-clearing brawl. Throughout the ages, confusion has reigned about which part to utilize. In the 1940’s, U.S. Customs, didn’t know exactly what this stuff that people were importing from the old world was, so they decided it could be classed as fruit or veggie depending on how it was used. It is often classed as a vegetable, being a close relative of sorrel and looking like a blushing celery stalk. The roots were used as a purgative medicine, for which they are very capable. Later the leaves were eaten like spinach, but not too often since they contain high concentrates of oxalic acid and are deadly in much quantity.
As sugar became more readily available throughout the world, rhubarb came to be used more as a food, lending its tartness to pies and preserves. In the 19th century, the British finally discovered the tart piquancy of the stems and mixed them with ginger and baked them in a pie (instead of four and twenty blackbirds). Soon thereafter, the pie made its way to the American colonies and berries, most notably the strawberry, replaced the ginger; June 9 is National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day.
From whence cometh the rhubarb? The name is derived from “Rha of the barbarians”; the Rha is the river now called the Volga where barbarians first cultivated it. It will not grow from seeds, but only from root cuttings, like potatoes, which indicates that it is a hybrid. Rhubarb is grown in hothouses nearly year-round; field grown it is harvested in the spring and fall. It grows best in temperate zones and likes a good freeze to stimulate the buds.
So, why all the hubbub about rhubarb? Because, among other things, it is a prime ingredient in the world renowned "Bee-bop-a-ree-bop Rhubarb Pie", which Mama’s little baby loves.

Momma’s little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb, Be-Bop-A-Re-Bop Rhubarb Pie! Garrison Keillor

June 9th is National Strawberry-Rhubarb Day International

Festivals:
http://www.savor-the-rhubarb.com/rhubarb-festivals.html Links to many Rhubarb Festivals, including: Kankakee Festival, Illinois; Kitchen Kettle Village Rhubarb Festival, Intercourse, Pennsylvania USA;

...beat you with a warm squash...

"The first zucchini I ever saw I killed it with a hoe." John Gould

Summer Squash are among the many varieties of gourds that grace our plates all year long from the family Cucurbitaceae, which includes melons, cucumbers and squashes. Cucurbita pepo primarily deals with the species of squashes hard and soft; the summer squashes are primarily those we harvest when the rinds are soft enough to eat without peeling. Chief among these are the scalloped or Pattypan squashes of white, yellow, green and variegated – the baby versions are growing in popularity. The constricted or crookneck squashes have become ubiquitous with their high yields and low costs – pick ‘em young for flavor and texture. Cylindrical varieties, such as zucchini are as colorful as the pattypans and offer uniformity for portion control. These varieties were unknown in the Old World until the discovery of the New, but were likely the first cultivated crops of the Native Americans some 12,000 years ago, predating beans and maize cultivars by eons. The blossoms have become increasingly popular on the culinary scene, serving as a small vegetable shell for stuffing with meats, chesses, or dessert mixes. Both male and female flower are produced by summer squashes, but only the female bears fruit, so most commercially sold blooms are male.

“Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something…” Emo Philips

Festivals:

Hayward, CA Zucchini Festival - http://www.haywardzucchini.com/
Windsor, FL Zucchini Festival - http://www.afn.org/~windsor/page2.htm
Obetz, OH Zucchini Festival - http://www.obetzzucchini.com/

If that don't beet all!?!?!?!?!?!

“Beet ever so onion there snow peas legume.” Margaret Thornley

If that don’t beet all! The beet has been an important food source since antiquity, adorning Egyptian temple walls circa 2000 B.C. Growing wild throughout the Mediterranean and Europe, it was generally more appreciated for what grew above the ground than below, giving us various chards and spinaches. Hippocrates used the leaves for binding wounds and its medicinal uses begat food recipes in Apicius, the fourth century book of Roman cookery. The root of the beet began to come into esteem in the 16th century as the “Roman” beet was developed, though the Britons knew only the red and long red until 1800. Napoleon was the champion of the beet: the English blockades of France successfully kept sugar off of French palates until 1811 when the Emperor was presented with two loaves of bread made with beet sugar; by the end of the Napoleonic Wars, nearly 300 mills were churning out beet sugar - beet Sugar accounts for nearly 30% of the world’s sugar and an astounding 90% of European sugar. Among the most popular varieties of beets are the red, gold and candy-striped varieties, both mature and “baby” beets adorn tables. Delicious hot or cold they are high in fiber, folic acid and antioxidants. So, if you can’t beet ‘em, join ‘em.

Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Jim Halpert


Festivals:
http://www.sugarbeetdays.com/ Sterling, Colorado
http://www.meadfoundation.org/sugarbeet.html Mead, Colo.